when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize