Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
