so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
