I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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