I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
