he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize