Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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