a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
