i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
