I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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