i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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