Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
