just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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