Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
