who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize