We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
