I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
