how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
