best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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