Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize