just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
