My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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