yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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