Its about making memories worth repressing
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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