i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
