you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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