so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
