I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
