piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
