I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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