if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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