that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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