you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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