just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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