There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
