I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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