TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize