Having a random hookup so left but love u
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
