WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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