The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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