There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
