i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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