You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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