Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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