And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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