so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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