is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
