I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
