let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
