so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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