Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
