He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me