dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye