It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers