Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Di me a solid and hit me with your car.

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  (715): Di me a solid and hit me with your car. http://tfl.nu/1rsf
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (2169)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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  (407): Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama. http://tfl.nu/o21n
  Replies (59) Good night (880) Bad night (3707)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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  (330): mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM http://tfl.nu/ia9w
  Replies (27) Good night (8647) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

  (1-818): View more from California

  And this was for your brother's Christening?

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  (818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq
  Replies (9) Good night (3663) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables

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  (301): I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables http://tfl.nu/82j1
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (2519)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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  (914): He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash. http://tfl.nu/xg6e
  Replies (9) Good night (3376) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1215) Bad night (11959)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.

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  (901): I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan. http://tfl.nu/ohh7
  Replies (3) Good night (1811) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover

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  (530): I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover http://tfl.nu/xq4s
  Replies (7) Good night (2831) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

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  (319): You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar. http://tfl.nu/ei6k
  Replies (2) Good night (1502) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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  (949): You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this" http://tfl.nu/ckz0
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (1948)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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  (949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j
  Replies (15) Good night (3055) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother

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  (978): Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother http://tfl.nu/l2x9
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.

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  (719): I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in. http://tfl.nu/k5k2
  Replies (11) Good night (2382) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes

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  (931): Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes http://tfl.nu/7hsu
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (363)

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