if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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