i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
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I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.