Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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  (904): i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night. http://tfl.nu/xd4f
  Replies (22) Good night (6560) Bad night (849)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (1200) Bad night (4238)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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  (703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x
  Replies (12) Good night (595) Bad night (3850)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?

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  (250): When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to? http://tfl.nu/e636
  Replies (23) Good night (5387) Bad night (1293)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3220) Bad night (1323)
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  (562): View more from California

  youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

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  (562): youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period. http://tfl.nu/nfk9
  Replies (10) Good night (3032) Bad night (1054)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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  (217): I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem' http://tfl.nu/0jvg
  Replies (22) Good night (1867) Bad night (3373)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.

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  (614): John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it. http://tfl.nu/stvk
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (2630)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

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  (413): i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown??? http://tfl.nu/ek0c
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (373)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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  (330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf
  Replies (5) Good night (430) Bad night (779)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.

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  (613): hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday. http://tfl.nu/nmap
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (422)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.

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  (484): Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you. http://tfl.nu/arry
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (289)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  excuse me?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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  (443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356
  Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (386)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.

  (305): View more from Florida

  They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.

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  (305): Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out. (407): Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates. (305): They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize. http://tfl.nu/akvq
  Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (342)
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  (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

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  (559): Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle. http://tfl.nu/b5en
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (217)

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