Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.