Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (1021)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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  (416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3
  Replies (47) Good night (938) Bad night (6929)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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  (425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice. http://tfl.nu/fg4t
  Replies (45) Good night (21010) Bad night (1031)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.

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  (904): I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale. http://tfl.nu/rt3p
  Replies (12) Good night (4545) Bad night (1378)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?

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  (412): Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container? http://tfl.nu/it9b
  Replies (33) Good night (6126) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again

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  (703): Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again http://tfl.nu/33pv
  Replies (3) Good night (1793) Bad night (2752)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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  (773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc
  Replies (8) Good night (5119) Bad night (1463)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.

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  (303): Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos. http://tfl.nu/cmhg
  Replies (11) Good night (5519) Bad night (958)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick

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  (608): he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick http://tfl.nu/43v1
  Replies (17) Good night (6042) Bad night (1282)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.

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  (864): I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/63se
  Replies (4) Good night (2051) Bad night (873)
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  (852): View more from

  come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air

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  (852): come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air http://tfl.nu/kik8
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (2060)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist

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  (416): Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist http://tfl.nu/x60r
  Replies (5) Good night (934) Bad night (1642)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS

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  (334): OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS http://tfl.nu/wcsc
  Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (350)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after

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  (416): no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after http://tfl.nu/d5fh
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (302)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic

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  (865): On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic http://tfl.nu/e5gj
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (741)

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