awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize