in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize