i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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