I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think my tv is drunk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
