HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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