Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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