is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
